By Carolyn Tomlin
Correspondent, The Alabama Baptist
Sometimes it’s the small things that say, “We’re a loving church!” Or perhaps, “We’re not so loving.”
A friend tells of moving to a new community, attending a church and visiting a ladies’ Sunday School class.
Entering the room she took a vacant chair. Immediately someone said, “You can’t sit there!” No problem. She moved to another seat. No explanation — just “you can’t sit there.” Another woman spoke up and said, “You can’t sit there either.”
She moved, expecting to be told to move again. But this time a kindly lady spoke up and said, “Dear, you can sit there. She won’t be here today.” It seems each woman had made a cushion for her metal chair and that was her territory.
Another friend tells of visiting a new church and when she entered the Sunday School room she was greeted with these words: “You can’t come in. We have no more room.” Evidently each chair was taken and no one offered to bring in another chair.
Message to others
Then there was the neighbor who attended a church while on vacation. She knew the pastor and wife, and he introduced her from the pulpit by saying, “I know you’ll want to welcome our friend. We’ve known this family for years.” After the service no one greeted her. She walked outside where others were engaged in conversation, thinking that someone would at least speak and say, “We’re glad you’re here. Please come back.” Nothing. No exchange or even a kindly glance. “After a few minutes I went to my car and left,” she said.
There are more than 3,200 Southern Baptist churches in Alabama and each sends a message to guests and to its community. What message is your church sending to others?
Consider these five ways your church can be more loving:
Encourage others. What if your entire congregation was committed to lifting people up? What if church members strived to build up and encourage everyone they meet?
‘Son of encouragement’
Paul, a converted Pharisee, instructs Christians to become like Barnabas, whose name means, “son of encouragement” (Acts 4:36). We live in a world that is often unfair, difficult and depressing. Imagine what could happen if churches adopted being an encourager as part of their outreach?
Appreciate people. Look for the good in others. All people have something to admire. Do they have a beautiful voice? Do they have a gift for working with children? Does their smiling face greet you at the door? What a boring world it would be if everyone had the same talent.
Find that special ability and tell people in a sincere way that you are grateful for their willingness to share their gifts at church.
Love unconditionally. The highest form of love in the Bible is agape, which is the type of love demonstrated by God. This divine love does not judge others. It is not critical. If we want our churches to exhibit agape love it must start with us. How can we be more generous? Forgiving? Compassionate?
Build others up. Don’t be critical of people or condemn them. Instead, sympathize. Put yourself in their place.
Part of the mission statement at many Southern Baptist churches is to be a family of faith. The word “family” is used to describe this collection of imperfect, flawed and messy sinners bonded together by the extravagant love and unending grace of Jesus Christ.
These congregations model a loving church through the practice of radical hospitality and compassionate service — with one another, with the community and with the world. In doing this, they are reminded how much God loves and forgives because loved people love and forgiven people forgive.
Treat guests like you want to be treated. When guests attend your church for the first time, will they want to return? A young family moved to a small town and attended one of the larger congregations in the community. They smiled. They shook hands and introduced themselves. The next Sunday they returned. No one even remembered their names. It was like a “first” time all over again.
‘Only one chance’
Rick Warren, pastor of Saddleback Church in Lake Forest, California, and author of “The Purpose Driven Church,” says, “You may have only one chance to make a first impression. Cover your church with people who love the Lord and who show it in their faces. Give a welcome handshake, a smile.”
If a church is filled with love, nothing can stop its growth. Every member of the congregation can contribute to the spirit of the flock. A loving church makes a powerful impression in your community.
What does the Bible say about a loving church?
The Bible talks about welcoming, loving and serving one another numerous times. Here are a few Scripture references on love:
- John 13:14–17
- Romans 5:8
- Romans 15:7
- 1 Corinthians 13:13
- 2 Corinthians 5:14
- 2 Corinthians 9:6–7
- Galatians 2:10, 20
- 1 Thessalonians 5:11
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